An Unexpected Family
I remember the painful glare of a cell phone screen at 3:00am on April 15th, 2014. I knew the message was from him. He was leaving for Basic Training. I wanted to read his message and hopefully reply before he had to turn off his phone, but my eyes were too tired. The more I blinked the more blurry the letters of his text became.
...I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart...you are what keeps me steady in life...I love you with all my heart...Forever and Always... Silence.
I don't remember if I replied, and I don't remember what I said if I did. What I do remember is the silence. Four days of silence where I didn't hear his voice, get his messages, see his face. I buried myself in my work, so much so that when I got off of work that Friday, I forgot to un-silence my phone. ...I don't have much time but here's my address...please send me letters...I love you... Making it through the 56 days of Basic Training with little communication except letters was difficult. I couldn't have done it without the support from the people in the USAF Family. As someone who was completely unfamiliar with this discourse community or any other community like it, I was lost. I was trying to understand concepts that were completely foreign to me, and whenever anyone began to explain things it sounded like they were speaking a different language simply because of the vocabulary they used.
In the USAF Family it is important to first and foremost have the willingness to both learn the language and develop optimistic patience. The entire Basic Training experience develops those needed characteristics to survive in the USAF Family. During this time, members of the USAF Family will communicate with each other through online forums, social media, letters, phone calls, or email. They provide a support group for each other, sharing photographs, stories, and experiences that continues even after Basic Training has ended. Just like Basic Training unites the men and women who will become USAF Airmen, it also brings together the families of those individuals into the discourse community. Once individuals have become members of the community, it's not hard to spot them: Perhaps the most difficult part of being a member of this Family, is not being officially recognized by the USAF as the significant other of an Airman. Because the USAF is a government organization, they don't make considerations for significant others unless they are married and have documents to prove it. Attending my Airman's graduation wasn't an issue because all friends and family are invited so long as they apply for a Base Pass. However, visiting my Airman for an extended time (like a weekend), becomes more tricky because I am not of any family relation and we are not married. That's when it becomes a game of words and phrases to say the right thing in order to receive the right answer for a permission slip. It's an interesting and sometimes awkward situation to be the individual who is accepted by the USAF Family, but not officially recognized by the USAF because of legality. I know I'm not the only one in this situation, but it's my understanding that rarely do individuals stay in this situation for very long. Either they become members of the Family and eventually are recognized by the USAF due to marriage, or they leave the Family all together.
|
The greatest way that this Family has shaped me has been in my confidence. I no longer feel alone, or confused because of my lack of experience with the military. I've realized that someone in uniform is just as much of a person as I am. They are not an intangible or distantly elevated person as I once pictured them to be. Walls have been broken down, and connections have been built. I am a part of something that is bigger than myself because I support someone who serves for a greater cause. My freedoms are more relevant because I am suddenly acutely aware of the price it costs to keep me safe in this country. I am more thankful for every moment that I have with my Airman because I know that the time between us being together is more uncertain than ever. And though my patience has been tested, I've learned to see the good and the positive, in a situation I cannot change.
"Reynolds is back there," An Airman that had been tapped out by his family stopped to point towards the direction of where Wesley was stationed in the flight line. |